Thursday, March 5, 2009
i always tot love between 2 people is that no one else in the world mattered if juz u and the one u loved are together.
because that was how u made me feel. like nth in the else mattered. no other ppl mattered. all i see is juz u n only u.
the thing that u said that u wanted to include mel in ur event juz keep repeating n repeatin in my mind. seems like u wanna make urself believe that u really like mel n think that the feelin u have for me juz tend towards familiarity..
while i have been tellin myself that it is not familiarity n that i really love u. coz familiarity is juz a habit.. it is easily to find another thing to replace it. but i juz cant.
because that was how u made me feel. like nth in the else mattered. no other ppl mattered. all i see is juz u n only u.
the thing that u said that u wanted to include mel in ur event juz keep repeating n repeatin in my mind. seems like u wanna make urself believe that u really like mel n think that the feelin u have for me juz tend towards familiarity..
while i have been tellin myself that it is not familiarity n that i really love u. coz familiarity is juz a habit.. it is easily to find another thing to replace it. but i juz cant.
Precious you
4:41 PM
Saturday, February 28, 2009
i didnt know that the older post cant be read. :( if u do see this blog, sms me ok? i will let u into the dashboard so u can read all the post.
Precious you
4:03 PM
Thursday, February 19, 2009
i dunno.. i dunno if i am making the right decision now to be with u.. i dunno.. i am scared.. i dunno y the sudden fear.. will u be ok with my flyin schedule.. will u take my absence as something u are so used to that u can live without me in ur life.. after all we have not been together for ard half a year..
i dunno if this will be one of the problems we will face in the future.. when i am in singapore, i can take the effort to contact u and meet up with u.. but when i am overseas, will u take the effort to do so? after all i dunno how u n mel function if u guys always sms n keep in contact and was it always her who contact n u dun do anything n u are used to not takin the 1st step.. i m worried..
n lastly, i was lookin thru ur fb photos.. it suddenly dawned onto me that i may be unable to attend n be there for all ur events n stuff.. will u be ok with it? will be one of the reasons that might cause us problems in the future.. n i wan a girl that can be there for u always to be with u.. n seems like i cant do it.. n maybe mel can possibly do a better job than me.. same facultly, same school, same clique of frens, same area u guys live in.. u guys can practically do everything together.. right.. oh man.. i dunno y the sudden fear.. i really dunno.. last time i didnt think so much.. but maybe i fear for the fear of losin u again.. i m scared.. i really am..
i dunno if this will be one of the problems we will face in the future.. when i am in singapore, i can take the effort to contact u and meet up with u.. but when i am overseas, will u take the effort to do so? after all i dunno how u n mel function if u guys always sms n keep in contact and was it always her who contact n u dun do anything n u are used to not takin the 1st step.. i m worried..
n lastly, i was lookin thru ur fb photos.. it suddenly dawned onto me that i may be unable to attend n be there for all ur events n stuff.. will u be ok with it? will be one of the reasons that might cause us problems in the future.. n i wan a girl that can be there for u always to be with u.. n seems like i cant do it.. n maybe mel can possibly do a better job than me.. same facultly, same school, same clique of frens, same area u guys live in.. u guys can practically do everything together.. right.. oh man.. i dunno y the sudden fear.. i really dunno.. last time i didnt think so much.. but maybe i fear for the fear of losin u again.. i m scared.. i really am..
Precious you
2:17 PM
Today was the 2nd day of overdose seein u.. It was really nice but still alil unbelievable like a dream like wat I have been fighting for is here now..
I jus can't help to just start gettin worried.. Imagine someone that u loved so much didn't wanted to have anything to do with u suddenly jus became the original him n started being nice to u once more n not much of a reason was given.. Is it smth one shd worried abt? Cos if the reason was I love u alot then in the 1st place y were u so mean to me n hurtin me n gettin back at me by being with her..
It makes me wonder if the reason for the change cld be cos u love me alot still.. Pls dun blame me.. U have made alot of unexpected decisions I was caught aback n I m really scare gettin back with me is smth u do out of u don't know wat u're doin.. Cos I bot u smth u wan, u jus feel touched n wanna get back.. N one day u will realize that u dun wanna be with me like how u dun wanna be with mel..
Tim has said too much that have set me thinkin of things I don't wanna think.. He scolds me for always being ready to come up with excuses for u.. N askin me y dun u seems excited seein me or even wanting to meet me.. I have always pushing the blame to ur midterms now n studies.. But I do feel alil that u're not excited to see me n I m scared to know y..
U nv ask abt my flights is when n stuff n I was alil taken back when u told me u gg to have dinner with mel n karin.. Not that I mind u gg out with them.. I jus wonder y u nv wonder when I gg to airport n wanting to fetch me.. Or spend time with me.. N I had to ask u come fetch me.. sometimes I wonder m I tryin too hard to make things work out.. Maybe I shd jus stand back alil to stop being too nice or initiative.. Maybe then it will show u if u do really like me alot.. But sometimes I jus can't help it.. I jus wanna see u..
I jus can't help to just start gettin worried.. Imagine someone that u loved so much didn't wanted to have anything to do with u suddenly jus became the original him n started being nice to u once more n not much of a reason was given.. Is it smth one shd worried abt? Cos if the reason was I love u alot then in the 1st place y were u so mean to me n hurtin me n gettin back at me by being with her..
It makes me wonder if the reason for the change cld be cos u love me alot still.. Pls dun blame me.. U have made alot of unexpected decisions I was caught aback n I m really scare gettin back with me is smth u do out of u don't know wat u're doin.. Cos I bot u smth u wan, u jus feel touched n wanna get back.. N one day u will realize that u dun wanna be with me like how u dun wanna be with mel..
Tim has said too much that have set me thinkin of things I don't wanna think.. He scolds me for always being ready to come up with excuses for u.. N askin me y dun u seems excited seein me or even wanting to meet me.. I have always pushing the blame to ur midterms now n studies.. But I do feel alil that u're not excited to see me n I m scared to know y..
U nv ask abt my flights is when n stuff n I was alil taken back when u told me u gg to have dinner with mel n karin.. Not that I mind u gg out with them.. I jus wonder y u nv wonder when I gg to airport n wanting to fetch me.. Or spend time with me.. N I had to ask u come fetch me.. sometimes I wonder m I tryin too hard to make things work out.. Maybe I shd jus stand back alil to stop being too nice or initiative.. Maybe then it will show u if u do really like me alot.. But sometimes I jus can't help it.. I jus wanna see u..
Precious you
3:45 AM
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
We r back as one! N I m jus alil too happy to slp but u the lazy elephant have alr knocked out as usual.. Haha.. Oh god u don't have how much idea I so badly want to feel the kiss on my forehead from u..
It jus feels so good n so right.. N everything jus fall into place man.. I was glad u tot it thru n decided to give us another shot!
It jus feels so good n so right.. N everything jus fall into place man.. I was glad u tot it thru n decided to give us another shot!
Precious you
3:17 AM
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
i was reading our past converstaions.. n it brought a smile to my face.. u sounded so childish when talkin to me.. like bickering like tt.. so cute.. i like it.. n i miss it.. :) oh man..
n i am so glad or i shd say HAPPY that u asked me out for a date.. haha.. oh man.. 2nd initiative for the week... :D:D:D:D oh man.. i cant wait.. n i will be seeing u tonight.. i am so gonna not let u starve in sch man.. so i LUG a lot of goodies back from perth.
n i am so glad or i shd say HAPPY that u asked me out for a date.. haha.. oh man.. 2nd initiative for the week... :D:D:D:D oh man.. i cant wait.. n i will be seeing u tonight.. i am so gonna not let u starve in sch man.. so i LUG a lot of goodies back from perth.
Precious you
8:32 PM
juz came back from perth not long ago. travel as a passenger back. feelin's good..
ermm.. sometimes i wonder.. really wonder if u really wanna get back or work things out with me is because u want to or is it u are obliged to coz u think that i love u so much n that it's better for u this way. coz i feel if u dun love me that much and wanna protect n love me so much as before then wat's the point one might ask. right.. it wont last coz in the long run, another girl might just catch ur eye..
maybe it's the signal u give.. i keep reminding myself abt how u wake up early in the morn, sms mei the night before n stuff that u do still care abt me.. but i am just afraid wat ur actions are might not be wat and how u feel or wat u even want.. other than the initiating of pickin me up, i nv see u wanna talk to me, but it's a relief that u do reply when i sms.. but i wonder is it out of courtesy or because u want to. i know.. i wan to be understandin that now is ur stress period.. i wan to be there for u.. but i dunno if u wld wan me to be there for u or u are juz used to not having me there with u.. i dunno wat to do..
whether i shd let u do wat u wanna do n when u wanna talk to me then i will talk if not i dun bother u.. or shd i keep sms-in u and make my presence felt, but maybe u might take my presence for granted or juz think that this is too much for u coz mel dont pester this much? i dunno.. m i suppose to act how i act in the past towards u? or i shd refrain.. tt's juz too many questions i wanna ask u but it's juz not the right time i suppose.. haiz..
i am feelin this insecure abt ur feelins towards me coz truthfully speakin, tim has been sendin me so much sms abt how he feels towards me askin me if there is no chance for him to chase me back n stuff.. it's juz made me scare that u dun really wan to be back with me so much.. as compared to him. i juz need some reassurance n ur sms abt after ur events n midterms thingy calmed me alil.. all i juz need to know is how u feel and wat u feel n wan..
pardon me for feelin so insecure.. i m sorry.. i know it's tirin for u.. but i'm not pesterin u am i? haiz.. i juz dunno wat to do.. maybe i am juz afraid that u dun love me anymore.. n maybe i have alot of qns unanswered.. :) i hope u will hope the strudel i bought for u.. n all the tim tams n stuff to bring to eat when u dun have a meal n lazy to go get.
ermm.. sometimes i wonder.. really wonder if u really wanna get back or work things out with me is because u want to or is it u are obliged to coz u think that i love u so much n that it's better for u this way. coz i feel if u dun love me that much and wanna protect n love me so much as before then wat's the point one might ask. right.. it wont last coz in the long run, another girl might just catch ur eye..
maybe it's the signal u give.. i keep reminding myself abt how u wake up early in the morn, sms mei the night before n stuff that u do still care abt me.. but i am just afraid wat ur actions are might not be wat and how u feel or wat u even want.. other than the initiating of pickin me up, i nv see u wanna talk to me, but it's a relief that u do reply when i sms.. but i wonder is it out of courtesy or because u want to. i know.. i wan to be understandin that now is ur stress period.. i wan to be there for u.. but i dunno if u wld wan me to be there for u or u are juz used to not having me there with u.. i dunno wat to do..
whether i shd let u do wat u wanna do n when u wanna talk to me then i will talk if not i dun bother u.. or shd i keep sms-in u and make my presence felt, but maybe u might take my presence for granted or juz think that this is too much for u coz mel dont pester this much? i dunno.. m i suppose to act how i act in the past towards u? or i shd refrain.. tt's juz too many questions i wanna ask u but it's juz not the right time i suppose.. haiz..
i am feelin this insecure abt ur feelins towards me coz truthfully speakin, tim has been sendin me so much sms abt how he feels towards me askin me if there is no chance for him to chase me back n stuff.. it's juz made me scare that u dun really wan to be back with me so much.. as compared to him. i juz need some reassurance n ur sms abt after ur events n midterms thingy calmed me alil.. all i juz need to know is how u feel and wat u feel n wan..
pardon me for feelin so insecure.. i m sorry.. i know it's tirin for u.. but i'm not pesterin u am i? haiz.. i juz dunno wat to do.. maybe i am juz afraid that u dun love me anymore.. n maybe i have alot of qns unanswered.. :) i hope u will hope the strudel i bought for u.. n all the tim tams n stuff to bring to eat when u dun have a meal n lazy to go get.
Precious you
8:30 AM