Sunday, January 25, 2009
it's really stupid fightin for smth that u dun even know wat u're dealin with... him questionin abt ur actions.. him not givin a shit of wat u are or wat happen to u.. it's like how u were once the apple of his eye and now to a stranger.. it's like walkin into a wall everytime u try to make things right.. makin him see wat he wants.. yet he choose to juz ignore u and juz return back to his life.. which i think he might really love it.. i m tired.. y shd i fight so hard to prove to u that i am the one that loves u so deeply.. if u cant even feel it then i got to say i m really disappointed.. haiz.. maybe i shd stop makin myself so available n that's maybe when u will start to realise that i treat u the best.. maybe even better than myself.
sms not replied, question left unanswered.. actions and the things u tell me are like totally the opposite.. which are exactly the true feelins of urs? i tried to figure but i always get it mixed up. maybe movin on is the only solution for now i shd take.. u juz dun have the soft spot for ur baby girl anymore. maybe u've changed.. or wait.. maybe it's the feelins.. u chargin at me or as u said questionin me y i go bother ur dear girl of ur life now.. to me i tot since u want everyone that is impt in ur life acknowledged her, i will juz wish her all the best with u.. i juz wan her to take good care of u.. i didnt know y it backfight and allowin u to see or feel that i have something against her.. yes i do have.. i really do have.. i cant stop hatin her for makin us turn out this way.. maybe i cant blame her.. both u n me have a part to play.. if i didnt misplace ur trust, or u makin the decision to be with her.. all these wont happen.. i juz have to wake up my idea that things change.. nth is like the tong hua, the fairy tale that u always wanted me to have..
lookin at photos that u n her took.. u two look so happy together.. it juz breaks my heart totally.. u told me u brought her back to ur hse.. so does she lie on ur bed like how i did in the past? do u lie beside her n fall asleep together? do u cuddle her like how u always do?do u fetch her home and then kiss her forehead? do u have to always call her before u slp? do u guys watch show together on ur bed? do u hug her like how u do?does she take good care of u? is she always there for u when u need her?does she make u happy? so many questions but i know they will be unanswered..
however, i feel that u not replyin to my sms shows that something is wrong.. maybe u're assurin her by tellin her that u will not sms me.. n actually doin it.. or u juz dun wanna face me.. i really dun like festival days.. coz it made me realise even more how u are part of my life.. so familiar that my tears cant stop droppin.. but to u, i think it shd be nth alr.. u rem everytime this year durin CNY eve, u will always catch a show with my family together? then chu yi i will go to ur ah ma's place for lunch then go to ur ah yi's place? maybe i shd wake up my idea.. all these are memories, are the past..
stop cryin durin chu xi.. it's a bad omen.. n the tears wont even reach u or like u would care.. maybe i will learn to love flyin.. at least when the crew are nice.. i spend ample amt of time on board, unable to check my phone.. unable to connect the world.. n talkin to the crew.. doin my duties.. i will not think.. i will not have the time to miss u..
sms not replied, question left unanswered.. actions and the things u tell me are like totally the opposite.. which are exactly the true feelins of urs? i tried to figure but i always get it mixed up. maybe movin on is the only solution for now i shd take.. u juz dun have the soft spot for ur baby girl anymore. maybe u've changed.. or wait.. maybe it's the feelins.. u chargin at me or as u said questionin me y i go bother ur dear girl of ur life now.. to me i tot since u want everyone that is impt in ur life acknowledged her, i will juz wish her all the best with u.. i juz wan her to take good care of u.. i didnt know y it backfight and allowin u to see or feel that i have something against her.. yes i do have.. i really do have.. i cant stop hatin her for makin us turn out this way.. maybe i cant blame her.. both u n me have a part to play.. if i didnt misplace ur trust, or u makin the decision to be with her.. all these wont happen.. i juz have to wake up my idea that things change.. nth is like the tong hua, the fairy tale that u always wanted me to have..
lookin at photos that u n her took.. u two look so happy together.. it juz breaks my heart totally.. u told me u brought her back to ur hse.. so does she lie on ur bed like how i did in the past? do u lie beside her n fall asleep together? do u cuddle her like how u always do?do u fetch her home and then kiss her forehead? do u have to always call her before u slp? do u guys watch show together on ur bed? do u hug her like how u do?does she take good care of u? is she always there for u when u need her?does she make u happy? so many questions but i know they will be unanswered..
however, i feel that u not replyin to my sms shows that something is wrong.. maybe u're assurin her by tellin her that u will not sms me.. n actually doin it.. or u juz dun wanna face me.. i really dun like festival days.. coz it made me realise even more how u are part of my life.. so familiar that my tears cant stop droppin.. but to u, i think it shd be nth alr.. u rem everytime this year durin CNY eve, u will always catch a show with my family together? then chu yi i will go to ur ah ma's place for lunch then go to ur ah yi's place? maybe i shd wake up my idea.. all these are memories, are the past..
stop cryin durin chu xi.. it's a bad omen.. n the tears wont even reach u or like u would care.. maybe i will learn to love flyin.. at least when the crew are nice.. i spend ample amt of time on board, unable to check my phone.. unable to connect the world.. n talkin to the crew.. doin my duties.. i will not think.. i will not have the time to miss u..
Precious you
5:45 PM